THE DHARMA

When the Buddha described what he taught, he said that he only taught one thing: Suffering and the end of Suffering.

The dharma normalizes that there is suffering in life. It explores the causes of our suffering, and that some of our pain and distress is unavoidable (aging, illness, loss, death), however the majority of our suffering is optional and unnecessary.

Optional suffering is what the dharma aims to illuminate.

The dharma provides a meticulously detailed and precise guide and map for how to navigate the labyrinth of the mind, and specifically the habits of mind that create suffering in us and in the world.

True freedom or liberation means letting go of suffering. In this way, the dharma is a very empowering practice and asks us not to go forward on blind faith, but to put the teachings into practice and see for ourselves. Freeing ourselves from the habits of mind that cause distortion, misperception and distress brings greater calm and ease to ourselves and others. Dharma practice helps us begin to sort out the chaos in our minds, and to see that which causes us greater distress and that which leads to greater peace.

Teachings…talks to inspire and illuminate.

MY JOURNEY

I fell in love with the Dharma soon after my mom passed away unexpectedly from cancer.

In a way, she led me directly to the path of the Buddha’s teachings.

After her dying process, which was incredibly traumatic, I was forcibly thrown into an intensity of grief I have never known before. It wasn’t just her loss, as I had been through this before with the loss of my father four years prior. Her dying process, and the impact of her death, was dramatically different. It was a shock to my sense of safety and basic understanding of life, and left me in a state of confusion and bewilderment. She was a young 72 (full of energy and vitality), and cancer took her within a few months. This woman who had seemed so invincible all my life dissolved in a breath, almost as if she had never existed.

I struggled that year with profound grief and had also begun to lean into a quality of existential despair, reckoning with the basic nature of what it means to be human in this life. It all felt so empty, insignificant, and not real in a way that was hard to understand. I was caught in feelings of hopelessness and a kind of nihilism set in; my heart was heavy with no ground below.

As her first death anniversary was approaching, I felt the urge to be somewhere deeply still where I could be with my heart and her spirit in an intimate and sacred way.

Despite having a steadfast mediation practice, I had little experience with Vipassana retreats.

Yet somehow, I longed for this kind of container, the silence was calling me home.

I chose a retreat over the week of her death anniversary which happened to be a Metta retreat, the practice of loving kindness. I had no formal experience practicing Metta and had no idea what to expect. It turned out to be one of the most healing and transformative experiences I have ever known.

To practice Metta from morning to night, for 7 days, was profoundly heart opening. It gently coaxed my tender heart to re-emerge, to step back into the stream of life, with the mystery and the wonder, motivated by compassion rather than fear.

Since then I have been committed to the practice of long retreat as the core vehicle for my liberation.

Now I see the ephemeral nature of it all, and yet I feel deeply relaxed, and even soothed by this truth. I also feel the preciousness of this life and see the rapidity of how fast it is all passing.

Dedicating my daily life to the practice of presence feels like a tremendous gift and the most important thing I can do with my life-time.